The 19 Worst Halloween Costumes of 2021

Let’s ease in a bit with the Domi-Matrix, which is a sort of sleeveless, legless representation of what Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) wore with infinitely more elegance in The Matrix.

The dress forming the trenchcoat flaps is kind of clever, and having them in all four quadrants makes them seem a bit like chaps, which is potentially on theme... but I suspect the slits on the side are there because someone sat down, and wondered, “How do we show more of them delicious gams?!” Honestly, it’s not the worst costume, but it’s definitely not good enough to make up for its horrible name. (Yandy, $83)

While there have surely been “sexy jungle explorer” costumes before, let’s not kid ourselves. This has been trotted out in hopes that someone would conflate it with “Sexy Jungle Cruise Movie Costume.”

However, its real sin is this: it doesn’t come with the iconic, imperialist Pith helmet, which is the only thing that defines this as a “safari” costume. “Not included” is a major theme in this year’s costumes. (Forplay, $89)

I defy anyone who looks at this costume to identify it as Sexy Grinch. Yes, the Grinch is almost solely a lump of green hair, as is this costume. But the Grinch’s few defining features are all missing. Without green paint on the face or even just some sinister makeup, there’s no way to know it’s the Dr. Seuss character.

Also, the Grinch has a little tuft of hair on the top of his head, not whatever that giant tassle thing is, and he definitely doesn’t have giant, line-straight locks like the ones pouring out of that headpiece. At least give people a hint by putting on a damn Santa hat! (Forplay, $89)

I’ve got no bone to pick with people who like to dress up like corpses of one type or another. But if you’re going to do a specific character, like Sally from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Halloween, you need a certain amount of accuracy to achieve the look. The corpse-like skin is okay, but at no point in the movie does Sally wear anything approaching what seems to be a corseted yoga outfit. The stupid suit doesn’t even replicate Sally’s patchwork clothes! Oh, and by the way—the skinsuit/make-up isn’t included, so all you’d be buying is an article of clothing without the tiniest connection to its purported source material. (Forplay, $79)

It’s always great to see offerings for guys that are as ludicrous as the costumes available for ladies. But there is a limit, and it’s this terrible, terrible Buzz Lightyear thing this unfortunate man has draped over the top-third of his torso. Honestly, it’s so generic it’s equally as viable as a “Sexy Infinity Glove” costume, which is to say “awful.” (Yandy, $74)

Okay. Take a good, long look at this outfit, and then take a deep breath. We’re looking at a Minnie Mouse... who’s also an assassin? A sexy Minnie Mouse who kills at the behest of the giant corporate behemoth that basically runs the entire entertainment industry? Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that’s inaccurate. This is Sexy Assassin Mickey Mouse.

Minnie wears a polka dot dress which could have easily been sexed-up and included if that had been the intention. Only Mickey has two giant white dots on his design’s lower portion, although they’re on his red shorts instead of his midriff. If you want to dress like a Mickey Mouse who fucks people just before he kills them, well, here’s your costume. (Yandy, $79)

It’s a bold choice to make a Cruella costume—star of one of this year’s hottest movies—who is known for and defined by the incredible fashions she wears throughout the film, and then just slap this shit together and call it a day. It’s a bad choice, but it certainly is bold. (Yandy, $101)

When you get down to it, what is a costume, really? Should the point be to look as accurate as possible to its inspiration, or is it enough to make yourself merely identifiable? How much material is needed to constitute a costume?

I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I do know a dumb, weird-looking hoodie with an inaccurate version of the Scream mask face isn’t a costume. If you’re in the mood, check out the first full trailer for Scream 5, simply titled: Scream. (Yandy, $53)

Scarlett Johansson’s various Black Widow outfits have always been sexy, so a “sexy Black Widow costume” is redundant. Just wear her regular outfit. But if you want, you can also find a version that has inexplicably removed large blocks of fabric in very strange spots at the arms and things, so parts of you are technically nuder than other parts. Bonus points for making the model do “the butt pose”... (Starline)

I have seen a lot of bad sexy Velma costumes in my time, but I’ve never seen one so egregiously awful as this. (Forplay, $79)

Let’s take a moment and ask ourselves, who is this Sexy Dexter From ‘90s Cartoon Network Show Dexter’s Laboratory costume for?

Is it for people who wish the squat little boy who starred in it was a foxy, flesh-baring lady? Is it for people who want to entice people who want to have sex with an age-appropriate, gender-bent character from a kids cartoon that ended production in 2003? And who are the people who find Dexter so hot that they’re still aroused by this awful costume? At least make the labcoat a miniskirt, for goodness’ sake. (Forplay, $79)

Toss a coin to your Witcher! Toss many coins at him, because he’s clearly seen some rough times. The iconic wolf’s head on his armor has been eroded into some kind of generic beast, and his leather harness must be missing because he’s had to paint it on instead.

Fun fact: the sword and wig are not included, so you’re not going to look like Geralt, you’re going to look like a guy who bought a very, very bad Witcher shirt from a sketchy kiosk outside Hot Topic. If you’d like to see something else a bit odd, check out these official Witcher toys. (Yandy, $33)

Okay, so this is clearly a mediocre “Sexy Bambi” hoodie, but when we saw it we got very worried someone might use it to make a “Sexy Sweet Tooth” costume—and we absolutely cannot handle that right now so we’re putting it on the list, just in case. (Leg Avenue, $60)

The nightmare of this Harley Quinn outfit speaks for itself, so I’d like to briefly talk about sexy costumes’ refusal to cover people’s midriffs. This goes for weird men’s costumes like this and about 99% of women’s costumes—it’s like these companies believe “sexy” means “belly exposed.”

Some people aren’t sculpted like the dead-eyed man above. In fact, I’m going to go out on a limb and say many people don’t particularly enjoy the idea of wearing outfits that call attention to our bare stomachs, and yet many of these people might also be interested in wearing sexy Halloween costumes. Just a thought! However, we do think the animated Harley Quinn would likely get a kick out of seeing this one. (Yandy, $69)

Poison Ivy has had so many incredible looks over the years, and this is the best they can do? Pitiful. It doesn’t even faintly resemble any of her iconic outfits, either! I guarantee you this is a generic “Faux-Disney Princess” costume they’ve dyed green and hot-glued a bunch of fake leaves on. (Yandy, $92)

Kudos to Leg Avenue for choosing Catwoman’s rarely utilized outfit from Batman: The Animated Series and its golden ring belt. Less kudos for getting to the chest and then just giving up. I don’t mind that Selina here sparkles like she’s wearing a disco ball, although it must make night heists unnecessarily more challenging, but what is with the shirt that only covers the arms and neck and nothing else? Also, those definitely aren’t cat ears up there, and shame on them for pretending they are. (Leg Avenue, $90)

Question: If you took away the broken glasses, would anything about the costume read as “nerd” to you? No, because short shorts, suspenders, and an isolated bowtie are the iconic fashion of exotic dancers like Chippendales. Which is fine! If you want to dress like this at any appropriate time or location, please do! But it’s important you know that this “Naughty Nerd” outfit does not come with the glasses so what the fuck are we even doing here. (Yandy, $41)

Oh, cool, a costume of what it would look like if you took a picture of Wonder Woman from really far away and then zoomed in way too much so you could only make out pixels! This one isn’t even trying. (Yandy, $36)

Even though Deadpool 2 came out in 2018, he’s still such a beloved character that I can’t imagine his popularity as a Halloween costume waning anytime soon. This version skimps on a lot of the fine details, and of course, turns the leggings into fishnet stockings. But it gets the key details right, from the antihero’s white eyes to the giant black line going down the center of his face and body to the...OH GOD OH GOD WHAT’S HAPPENING TO THE CHIN AND NECK RUN RUUUUNNNN (Starline)

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