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12 White Elephant Gifts That Are Just Barely Appropriate
Credit: What on Earth

The true gift of White Elephant is the element of surprise. It’s the promise of possibility, the anticipation of your gift recipient’s shock and awe upon opening your carefully curated gag gift. For those of us who like to toe the line of what makes an “appropriate” gift, White Elephant is our time to shine.

When it comes to the art of gag gifts, your goal is to find items that are quirky and raunchy, but without making people uncomfortable. And so, while the following gifts will most definitely not be the most coveted item at your White Elephant party, they’ll be sure to get the most fun reactions. Each item was selected for its price point (all around or under $30) and their potential to bring a smile-slash-grimace to someone’s face.

(Quick disclaimer: If your gift exchange is amongst family and coworkers rather than longtime friends, make sure you trust your ability to read the room. A gag gift is not worth making people genuinely uncomfortable.)

Celebrity sequin pillows

Celebrity sequin pillows
Credit: POP Sugar

These pillows appear to be a simple sheet of sequins, but with a quick brush of your hand, a beautiful meme of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson waits for you. For whatever ironic internet-humor reasoning, there will always be a specific set of celebrities whose faces we love to see on our accessories and home goods. The A-Team includes Adam Sandler, Nicolas Cage, Jeff Goldblum, and my personal favorite, Danny Devito.

If you’re feeling extra mischievous, there’s the option to submit a photo for a customized pillow. Maybe you can get one with your boss’s or uncle’s face on it—whoever you know will be a real crowdpleaser.

Under $30 on Etsy.

“We’re Not Really Strangers” card game

“We’re Not Really Strangers” card game
Credit: Target

Adult party games are a classic White Elephant fallback gift. However, “We’re Not Really Strangers” brings a special level of authenticity (as opposed to the simple shock value you get with something like “Cards Against Humanity”). The goal of this card game is to foster connection through harrowing personal revelations. The prompts on these cards will spark conversation and foster connections between friends old and new—just remember that to play fair, you have to be willing to dig deep.

$20 at Target

Belly button lint brush

Belly button lint brush
Credit: Etsy

What do you get the person who has everything? Well, “everything” probably includes some stubborn belly button lint. This little brush will help them with that. And at less than $5, this is the perfect cherry-on-top for any of the other items on this list.

$5 on Etsy

The Hungoevr [sic] Cookbook

The Hungoevr [sic] Cookbook
Credit: HOBNOB Magazine

This cookbook by Milton Crawford is much more than a mere gag gift. It’s full of beautiful graphics and clever recipes to soothe your hungover soul. Designed around six different types of hangovers—The Broken Compass, The Sewing Machine, The Comet, The Atomic, The Cement Mixer, and The Gremlin Boogie—as a starting point, recipes are tailored to each specific malady. Perfect for the morning after your White Elephant celebration.

$10 at Bookshop.org

Cat butt magnets

Cat butt magnets
Credit: Kikkerland

Look, you clicked on this article. You knew that cat butts were going to be included—someway, somehow.

$20 on Kikkerland

Celebratory wine stoppers

Celebratory wine stoppers
Credit: Tipsy Elves

Maybe you can’t turn water into wine, but you can at least preserve the wine you have on hand. Wine stoppers are another practical White Elephant staple, so it’s on you to bring some pizzazz to the table. If “birthday boy” Jesus doesn’t do it for you, check out pooping Santa and humping reindeer.

Under $15 on Tipsy Elves

IBS paraphernalia

IBS paraphernalia
Credit: Reductress

Reductress is the first and only satirical women’s magazine, and their merch is just as goofy and raunchy as their headlines. This IBM-inspired design is a parody of the internet’s fascination with IBS (and more specifically, the hot girls who suffer it).

The sweatshirt is available for $45 and the t-shirt is $32 on the online Reductress shop.

Turdpedo toilet elixir

Turdpedo toilet elixir
Credit: Turdcules

I’m not ashamed to say it: Odor-eliminating toilet spray should be far more commonplace than it is. I know I’m not the only person who needs it. Both practical and silly, the Turdcules brand features a highly entertaining selection of elixir scents. To name a few, you’ve got Sasquat (smells like camping and living legends), turdpedo (smells like sunburns and victory) and Tennessee hangover (bonfires and bad decisions).

$13 on Turdcules

This candle smells like Adam Driver

This candle smells like Adam Driver
Credit: CE Crafts

Speaking of scents...why not fill your home with the (hypothetical) aroma of your favorite celebrities? Adam Driver comes with notes of musk, sage, and citrus; Harry Styles leans more mahogany and bergamot. For Yellowstone fans, “This Candle Smells Like Rip Wheeler” captures what is sure to be a highly accurate flannel-and-pine scent. For amusing your coworkers, there’s even a “This Candle Smells Like This Meeting Could Have Been an Email.”

$18 on CE Craft

Dammit dolls

Dammit dolls
Credit: Totally Awesome Goods

Nothing says “holiday season” like “pent-up rage.” Let out a little steam with Dammit Dolls, designed to withstand lots of slamming against your desk, wall, floor, what have you. The poem on each doll reads:

“Whenever things don’t go so well, and you want to hit the wall and yell, here’s a little dammit doll, that you can’t do without. Just grasp it firmly by the legs and find a place to slam it. And as you whack the stuffing out yell ‘Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!’”

Go ahead and encourage all the throwing, slamming, and whacking it takes to relieve a touch of stress.

$14 on Totally Awesome Goods

Bathroom guest book

Bathroom guest book
Credit: Camp

Who says toilet humor can’t be reflective and refined? Get off your phone and peruse the experiences of past cheeks on seats with a bathroom guest book. This book makes for charming decor, and it gives all your friends and family the opportunity to make a mark on the bathroom that you don’t desperately want to scrub away.

$15 on Camp

Al Dente, the singing floating pasta timer

Al Dente, the singing floating pasta timer
Credit: Appalachian Outfitters

Don’t let your pasta cook a minute past perfection. Al Dente is a smart temperature sensor that will start singing after a certain amount of minutes to let you know how your pasta is doing in your pot. There’s nothing like getting sidetracked in the kitchen, only to snap to attention at the melody of The Godfather theme coming from your stove.

$25 on Appalachian Outfitters