I’m not here to stop you from proposing to your beloved on the jumbotron this summer. If your dream is to ask your partner to spend the rest of your lives together in front of 40,000 people who share your fandom (or 3,000 people if you’re an Oakland A’s fan), I would never try to stop you.
I’m just here to offer some friendly alternatives for other ways you could spend that money, provided you are able to hear them. I promise this has nothing to do with my general aversion to grandiose public gestures, and comes purely from a place of financial literacy. After all, you’re about to get engaged! It’s no time to be spending your hard earned money willy-nilly. You’ve got a large and expensive party to plan.
Before I tell you how to better spend your public proposal cash, let’s find out how much it costs to rent out the jumbotron at various ballparks (per Swimmingly).
Low-tier stadiums (Under $100)
Pittsburgh Pirates (PNC Park): $39
Atlanta Braves (Truist Park): $50
Cincinnati Reds (Great American Ballpark): $50
Colorado Rockies (Coors Field): $50
Chicago White Sox (Guaranteed Rate Field): $55
San Diego Padres (Petco Park): $55
Detroit Tigers (Comerica Park): $75
Oakland Athletics (RingCentral Coliseum): $85
Middle-tier stadiums ($100-$250)
New York Yankees (Yankee Stadium): $100
Seattle Mariners (Safeco Field): $115
Chicago Cubs (Wrigley Field): $175
San Francisco Giants (AT&T Park): $175
Texas Rangers (Globe Life Park in Arlington): $200
Minnesota Twins (Target Field): $209
Arizona Diamondbacks (Chase Field): $250
High-tier stadiums ($250+)
Boston Red Sox (Fenway Park): $350
Cleveland Indians (Progressive Field): $400
Philadelphia Phillies (Citizens Bank Park): $450
Houston Astros (Minute Maid Park): $500
Miami Marlins (Marlins Park): $500
St. Louis Cardinals (Busch Stadium): $500
Tampa Bay Rays (Tropicana Field): $500
Washington Nationals (Nationals Park): $1,500
Los Angeles Dodgers (Dodger Stadium): $2,500
Do not allow proposals
Toronto Blue Jays (Rogers Centre)
Los Angeles Angels (Angels Stadium of Anaheim)
Kansas City Royals (Kauffman Stadium)
Baltimore Orioles (Camden Yards)
New York Mets (CitiField)
My immediate reaction is to tip my hat to the five MLB teams who’ve drawn a line in the sand and refuse to aid and abet the ultimate public display of affection. Secondly, I’m surprise at how much the price of proposing on the jumbotron can vary from stadium to stadium. Really, Pittsburgh Pirates? $39 to propose on your Jumbotron? I know you struggle to get people to the ballpark, but there has to be a better way.
Now that we’ve had time to digest this information, let’s talk about alternatives. If you’re getting married, you’re presumably going to have a wedding. And with a wedding comes a variety of costs, big and small. Here are some costs you can get out of the way should you decide to reallocate your proposal budget to your wedding budget.
Low-tier wedding costs (Under $100)
Wedding license: $40
Place cards: $50
Menu cards: $75
Guest book: $75
Middle-tier wedding costs ($100-$250)
Save the Date cards: $150
Table centerpieces: $160
Bridal bouquet: $250
High-tier wedding costs ($250+)
Wedding invitations: $530
Wedding DJ: $1,400
Wedding dress: $1,800
Wedding photographer: $2,500
Doesn’t seeing that all laid out in front of you make you think twice about the financial viability of proposing on the jumbotron? Remember, I just want to help you make a fiscally sound decision here. I’m doing this for you.
And if you’re flush with cash and still determined to propose to your partner on the big screen? Please be 100% sure they’re going to say yes. Because you can’t put a price tag on recovering from public humiliation. Beyond your therapy bills anyway.