For some people, it happens like clockwork: Their anxiety is manageable during the day, but as soon as their head hits the pillow, every possible bad scenario plays out in their mind. Falling asleep is hard enough during this difficult year, but can feel impossible when you’re constantly letting your worries occupy your full attention. But you don’t have to lie awake all night, every night. Here’s how anxiety messes with our sleep, and how you can fight back.
We’ve previously discussed what anxiety does to your brain and what to do about it, how to stop worrying about not being able to sleep, and how you can get a better night’s sleep in general, but this video from the folks at DNews explains how your brain reacts to moments of anxiety, how those moments are triggered, and what happens specifically when anxiety strikes while you’re sleeping.
Put simply, your body can kick on that stress response that triggers anxiety at any time, without warning. Whether you’re sitting up watching TV or you’re asleep at night, our subconscious mind is really to blame for this increased anxiety. When you’re dealing with stress during the waking hours—whether a looming deadline for a big work project or the general state of the world in 2020—your brain can mimic that pattern and send you in to a stressed, panicked state even after you’ve been removed from the immediate stressor. The end result? We wake up in the middle of the night, after we’ve managed to relax, stressed out about work or the anti-maskers in line behind you at the store.
When this happens at night, though, the problem multiplies and feeds on itself—you wake up worrying about one thing, and then you worry you’re not getting enough sleep, which makes you worry more and the cycle continues all night, leaving you without rest.
So can do you do about it? Here are some strategies you can try to improve your chances at restful sleep.
Get up and out of bed
We’ve mentioned this one before, but you should only stay in bed if you’re planning on going sleep. You don’t want your brain to associate your bed with anything but the impulse to sleep, so if you’re suffering insomnia, get up, sit in a chair, or go to another room.
Distract yourself
Try some reading by a low light, drinking a cup of warm milk (don’t drink anything with alcohol in it), or having a light snack (nothing too heavy, mind you), watching traffic go by outside your window—whatever works for you. The idea here is to distract yourself from the negative thoughts or feelings that come as a result of that momentary panic. We’ve mentioned that noticing and describing the objects around you can be both meditative and calming, so you can also try that.
Exercise during the day
Of course, this requires planning ahead a little, but the National Sleep Foundation recommends exercising a bit during the day to help you fall asleep at night. According to the NSF, even a single moderate-intensity workout, like a brisk walk, can improve sleep among people with chronic insomnia.
Write out a to-do list
If your anxiety is stemming from all the things you need to get done tomorrow or during the week, writing out a to-do list can help, the NSF says. Instead of allowing your brain go over all the things you’re afraid you’re going to forget, write them down so your brain can relax and let you get some sleep.
Try to relax, and stay relaxed
This is easier said than done, of course, but key to getting back to sleep is to try to relax, let the anxiety or panic slowly ebb away, and let your mind and body return to a semi-normal state. Some people do this through meditation, which is always a good idea, but if that’s not your style, just finding some way to consciously relax yourself is a good approach too. Consider trying “havening,” a calming sensory technique, or practicing a stress-reducing breathing technique.
Resist the temptation to watch the clock
You may feel compelled to check the time repeatedly, but try not to. Watching the clock, especially when it’s dark and you’re alone and awake, can backfire spectacularly, and make you more stressed about the time that’s slipping away and the sleep you’re not getting.
However you approach it, most methods of dealing with middle-of-the-night-anxiety boil down to one of these methods. If you have the time to take a light sedative or a melatonin tablet and still wake normally in the morning (something you don’t want to do if you have to be up in like four hours), go for it—just try not to rely on those pills for a good night’s sleep.
As always, if you run into serious problems sleeping through the night, or you wake up frequently in the middle of the night, you should consult your doctor or have a sleep exam done. There may be something else at play that, once treated, will open the door to a better night’s rest for you.
This story was originally published in December 2014 and updated on Dec. 8, 2020 to provide current context and links to additional advice.