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You Should Know How Much Your Coworkers Make (and Vice Versa)

Here's how to talk about pay transparency with your work friends.
You Should Know How Much Your Coworkers Make (and Vice Versa)
Credit: Jacob Lund - Shutterstock

The idea that we should all be paid fairly for our work is kind of a no-brainer—but how can we as individuals actually make progress towards pay transparency and ensure equal pay for equal work?

We’ll probably never know the details of exactly how our compensation package was put together when we got that last job offer. Was it standardized, or was it based on the number you quoted during the interview process? Did any bias creep in when the number was being discussed, or was it decided purely based on your demonstrated skills and experience? It’s in a company’s best interest not to reveal this information either way, and it’s especially important for them to hide this information when a company is paying its workers unfairly. It’s hard to know what bucket your workplace falls into until you learn more about how the people you work alongside are being paid. And the only way to figure that out, is to talk to each other.

It’s relatively common to not make exactly the same amount of money as a coworker, often due to slightly different levels of experience or expertise in a certain area of your role, and in that case there isn’t really cause for concern (in this particular area, anyway). It’s normal to see variation between jobs and between functions, but if throughout these conversations you start to notice a trend or if the differences are significant, it might be worth investigating.

It can be tough to get started, but having these conversations with your colleagues can be an impactful step forward in achieving pay transparency. And when you’ve identified a trend and are ready to take action, but don’t know where to start, you can reach out to my personal labor role model and go-to resource: Jorts the Cat. (Seriously though, Jorts gives so much thoughtful and relevant advice about workers rights and wages. Plus he’s a lovable orange cat with a heartwarming backstory.)

Fight the impulse that these conversations are “inappropriate” or “unprofessional”

It’s a well-ingrained idea that talking about money is taboo, uncouth, and unprofessional, and there are certainly still times when that’s true (like bragging about the cost of a new car or making fun of someone for their financial standing). But when it comes to pay transparency and making sure everyone is being paid a livable wage, there’s nothing unprofessional about it. It is your protected right to discuss your wages—what’s unprofessional is when companies take advantage of lack of awareness to pay people unfairly.

If it feels too scary or uncomfortable to do at work, start small with your closest circle. Bring the topic of pay transparency up with your partner, friends, and others that you really trust. It will still be a valuable conversation even if you don’t work together, and will get you more used to having these conversations and talking about money without the existential dread (or at least with less of it).

Build relationships before getting into the nitty gritty of your salaries

Even though we know that it’s perfectly appropriate and legal to talk about your pay, it’s still uncomfortable. It’s even more uncomfortable if it’s your first conversation with someone and they’re suddenly asking very invasive questions about what you do and how much money you make doing it. If it would be off-putting on a first date, it’s probably off-putting in any social interaction with someone you don’t know too well.

Don’t open with the salary question—instead, focus on building relationships and trust with your coworkers. Check in with each other about your satisfaction in your job, your working conditions, and your aspirations. It will not only make the pay conversation easier and much more natural down the line, it will also build a community of caring, supportive people at your workplace (which makes work way more tolerable).

Explain why you think it’s important to talk about

Rather than barreling right into “tell me how much money you make,” it’s helpful to give the context of why you care. It’s natural for people to be a little defensive—are you going to make fun of me if I tell you? Are you trying to steal my identity? Are you going to rat me out to management if I engage in this conversation? Being upfront about why this is an important topic for you helps make people more comfortable engaging, and assures others that you’re asking because you genuinely care about their wellbeing.

While this is by no means an exhaustive list of talking points, here are a few openers my friends and I have used to get the conversation going:

  • “I’ve heard of a lot of situations where people with the same jobs get paid differently, just because someone made less money before or because they didn’t negotiate. I don’t want that to be happening to us, and if it is, I want to try to fix it.”

  • “Since we do similar work, we should probably be getting paid similarly. It’s important to me that neither of us is getting taken advantage of.”

  • “I know it’s awkward, but it’s really important to me to be transparent about our pay so that we know we’re being paid fairly. I don’t want either of us to be making less money just because we didn’t negotiate or because of discrimination.”

  • “I know money is a touchy subject, but that’s part of why it’s important to me to talk about it. It’s definitely not a contest or a brag, but companies rely on us not talking about this so that they don’t have to pay people fairly. It’s more important to me that people like us are making livable wages than if the company executives can buy another summer home.”

Share your salary first (if possible)

I won’t pretend that every person out there is in a position to safely share information like this, but if you are able, sharing your pay information first goes a long way in making people more comfortable and trusting in this conversation. Sharing your pay puts the ball in their court and offers an olive branch of sorts to demonstrate that you’re willing to also share this uncomfortable but important information. Don’t think of it like an IOU (“I shared mine so now you have to share yours”), but more like a peace offering to show you’re on the same team. You can also share information about any raises or promotions, which could help to figure out if pay differences are based on performances and career growth versus company greed and bias.