There are many words one could choose to describe this shit show of a year (oh look, I just chose a couple), but I’m sure we can all agree that it was...weird. Just epically strange and bizarre. As I reflect back on some of the parenting hacks I wrote this year, I realized they, too, were—at times—weird.
But I stand by every single one of these because weird times call for even weirder solutions—and if you didn’t drop ice cream onto your children from a second story window, did you even really live this year?
The great ice cream drop of 2020
Some commenters called this “a food crime” or a “waste of perfectly good ice cream,” but those people are no fun and/or their children need to get better at catching ice cream.
All you need for this activity is children, some large bowls or buckets, ice cream, and a scoop. Head to a second floor patio or window, lean out, and start dropping. They can eat what they catch.
If you thought that was weird, we’re just getting started.
Give your kids a LEGO bath
Your kids like to take baths. Your kids like LEGO. What reason could you possibly have for not combining the two to give them the experience of a LEGO bath? Simply fill the tub with water, dump in a pile of DUPLO bricks and let the fun begin.
I actually wrote this one before the pandemic began (I must have sensed what fate had in store for us), but it seemed like a good idea then, and it’s still a good idea now.
Next, I tried to make you confess something.
You hate “pretend play,” and you know it
A user on Reddit posted a confession that they hate having to engage in “pretend play” with their child—and they were riddled with guilt over this. Guilt over a thing we all hate, because most parents are just too nice to admit how much it sucks. But I’m not that nice, so I said it then, and I’ll say it again now:
What are you even talking about, u/avlynn91? Of course you hate it. We all hate it. Of course it’s the longest 15 minutes of your day; 15 minutes of pretend play actually takes three hours to complete—just ask physics. There are so many things you could legitimately be feeling guilty for; why are you wasting precious guilt on
this?
(I know there are, like, three of you out there who enjoy pretend play, but you are the exception, not the rule.) As an alternative, have your kid make a movie on your phone, and they get to direct your actions.
Next, let’s ditch all that consistency we’ve tried so hard to achieve.
Break your own rules
In this post, I reminded you all how reasonable rules and boundaries are the cornerstone of good parenting; and then I was like, “But for Christ’s sake, lighten up once in a while.”
We needed a little light in this long, dark year, so I gave you a bunch of suggestions for how to bend your own rules a bit in order to temporarily escape the rut you were probably in.
Then I told you to send them out to the garage to play.
Turn your garage into a playroom
Maybe when the orders came down to stay at home whenever possible, you were able to send the children off to their playroom, a finished basement, or out into the spacious backyard. Or maybe you don’t have any of those things—but you do have a garage!—and you needed to get creative.
So we showed you how to temporarily convert your garage into a play area.
Or you could create your own indoor ball pit.
An inflatable pool can double as an indoor ball pit
One of the great things about the pandemic is whenever I get a random idea like repurposing an inflatable pool into an indoor ball pit, my 10-year-old son is available to help me test it out.
We filled ours up for the day with every soft ball, stuffed animal, and pillow we could find—and I offered some suggestions for anyone who wants to set something like this up as a more longterm play structure for a toddler.
Next: A simple way to solve the snack wars.
Label your kids’ snacks
The little things have meant more to us than ever this year. That’s why, if you have multiple children who all like the same snack (or Strawberry Yogurt O’s, like Revie, Bo, Fable, and Archer apparently prefer), it became important to figure out a way to prevent one child from hogging all the good stuff.
One mom realized all she needed was a Sharpie and a rule: Hands off the O’s unless it has your name on it.
Then we taught you how to plan for a daily “Oh, shit!” moment.
You need an “Oh, shit!” block worked into your schedule
Every day this year felt like its own unique challenge. Whatever could go wrong—be it a crappy internet connection, a broken-down appliance, or a particularly foul mood—went wrong. That part couldn’t really be helped; but what could be helped is our preparation for it.
Just schedule some “Oh, shit!” time into your day, we said.
Now let’s end back where we started, because it’s time for more ice cream.
Have ice cream for dinner
I started this list with ice cream, and I’m going to end it with ice cream. I told you it was okay to eat ice cream for dinner this week (and next week, too, if you want), and I stand by this advice. Behold, my flawless argument:
If you have not yet attempted to make a meal out of a frozen treat—or introduced your children to such a concept—perhaps you are worried about starting an unhealthy precedent. I am not here to suggest you ditch those fruits, veggies, and whole grains for a meal plan that regularly results in your children bouncing off the walls at bedtime. I
am
suggesting that you carefully and strategically delight the absolute hell out of your kids (once in a while!)—while still ensuring they’re getting all those nutrients and whatnot the rest of the time.
