New Year’s Eve is usually one of my favorite eves. I get to drink drinks, eat snacks, and dance with my friends, but this year is (obviously) different—no one should be partaking in that last activity (the dancing one), so I’m recommending that everyone go hard with the snacks. This may sound like I’m telling you to “invest all of your energy into making snacks,” but I’m not. I’m telling you to make several incredibly low-effort snacks, so that you may save your precious energy for consuming them.
As you probably have guessed, I have a few suggestions in this department. I suggest choosing a couple of the following that sound good to you, then round out your snack buffet with charcuterie, cheese, and fruit, or perhaps some caviar with potato chips and creme fraiche if you’re feeling fancy. We may not be able to dance the night away with a champagne coupe in hand, but we can say goodbye to this wretched year while gorging ourselves on opulent snacks.
Bacon crackers (for the perfect savory bite)
These two-ingredient marvels are meaty, salty little bites that require almost no culinary skill from their maker. The grease renders out of the bacon and into the cracker, giving it a flaky, almost pie crust-like texture. You can sprinkle a little cheese or brown sugar under the bacon if you desire, but you really don’t need it. I like bacon crackers best when they are just that—bacon and crackers.
Burnt onion dip (because caramelizing takes too long)
New Year’s Eve is not the time to spend close to an hour hovering over the stove, waiting for onions to transform into sweet and jammy versions of their acrid selves. No, New Year’s Eve is a night of indulgence, and the less amount of time you spend in the kitchen, the better. Enter burnt onion dip: the flavorful dip that delivers deep, roasted, allium-y goodness in about a quarter of the time.
Bagna cauda (the dip of luxury)
This dip is maybe the most flavorful thing you will ever make, thanks to a whole tin of anchovies and lots of garlic. It’s traditionally served warm with fall vegetables to celebrate the arrival of the season in the Piedmont region of Italy, but I don’t see why we can’t eat it while celebrating the departure of 2020. If you’re worried it will be “too fishy,” I urge you to obliterate your garlic in the food processor, and cook everything on the lowest possible heat setting until the flavors mellow and meld. Then add butter. Butter always helps.
Honey-brushed pita chips (to dip in things)
It may not seem “worth your time” to make your own pita chips, until you realize that brushing honey on a split piece of pita bread (and sprinkling it with a little salt) results in the best pita chip you’ve ever had in your entire life. Just that touch of sweetness pushes them into the god tier of dippers. They’re particularly nice with some sort of feta-based spread.
Black-eyed pea hummus (for good luck)
It simply would not be New Year’s Eve without a black eyed pea dish, and this “hummus”—which is made with an entire head of roasted garlic—just might be my favorite. Serve it alongside pimento cheese and saltines.
Brussels sprout and artichoke dip (because spinach sucks)
When one cooks spinach, it gets wet, limp, and small. When one cooks Brussels sprouts, they get charred and flavorful, while retaining most of their volume, which makes them a better candidate for a hot dip situation. Brussels sprouts also just taste better than spinach and feel more winter appropriate (because they’re in season).
Stuffed mushrooms (made with leftovers)
Open your fridge. Look at you leftovers. Nearly every single one can be stuffed into a mushroom. That last bit of brisket, ham, Christmas goose; a couple spoonfuls of mashed potatoes, stuffing, or casserole; any and all dips and cheeses—every one of these things can be baked in a hollowed-out mushroom cap for a delicious snack. (Just make sure to pre-roast the mushrooms a little bit to drive out some of the water. No one likes a watery mushroom.)
Silky artichoke dip (that happens to be vegan)
This creamy, dairy-free dip can be whipped up with a just a few pantry staples, plus a can of cheap artichokes, and is better than anyone would expect it to be. Serve it on a platter with some marinated vegetables and crusty bread, and make sure to slather any leftovers on a sandwich (it’s basically vegan artichoke mayo).
Goat cheese rolled in stuff (like bacon bits)
“Goat cheese rolled in stuff” is the lazy person’s cheeseball, and it is good. Just find a bunch of stuff—crunchy fried onions, bacon bits, chopped herbs, seasoning blends, etc.—and roll a log of chèvre in that stuff. Put it on a plate. Eat it with crackers. Repeat until you are out of goat cheese and/or stuff.