Trump Held In Contempt Of Court After Stabbing Michael Cohen To Death With Ballpoint PenNEW YORK—Violating the judge’s order prohibiting the former president from killing his one-time fixer, Donald Trump was held in contempt of court Tuesday after stabbing Michael Cohen to death with a ballpoint pen. “Given the defendant’s willful and…
LocalMan Being Crucified By Romans Keeps Arrogantly Comparing His Plight To JesusROME—Following comments that drew an immediate backlash for what critics called an inappropriate and self-serving analogy, sources confirmed Friday that Zebedee Peters, a man who is currently being crucified by the Romans, has continued to …
Breaking NewsWhite House Gardener Finds Rotting Biden In Compost BinWASHINGTON—With worms in the pile of plant debris already starting to eat away at the late president’s flesh, veteran White House gardener Dale Haney told reporters Thursday he had found a rotting Joe Biden in a compost bin on the South Lawn of the…
Breaking NewsIRS Under Fire For Blowing $350 Million Developing MMORPG Tax Video Game Called ‘Tales Of Revenue’
Breaking NewsNew Study Finds Rocket-Powered Roller Skates Still Fastest Way To Commute To Job As Eccentric Inventor
Breaking NewsDisturbing Reports Find IDF Playing Amy Schumer Stand-Up Clips To Drive Palestinians From Homes
EntertainmentLeak Suggests New Taylor Swift Album All About Sink Not Draining Good Because It Clogged By Long Hair