In the fall of 2019, the world was a different place. Donald Trump was the U.S. President, there was no COVID-19 pandemic, and former MMA fighter Gina Carano was a rising film and TV actor set to star in a Mandalorian spin-off. Years later, inspired by a heady cultural and political atmosphere that compelled lots of public figures to shout about changes to those first two points, Carano got herself fired from her very own Star Wars show because she simply could not stop tweeting stupid shit.
Smelling the first whiffs of rot emanating from the corpse of a newly disgraced celebrity’s public image, Ben Shapiro and his fellow Daily Wire scavengers decided to swoop on down to offer Carano the rare opportunity to join the ranks of its stable of entertainment luminaries, like Rob Schneider and Adam Carolla. At the time, Carano said her new partnership would let her “[use] my voice which is now freer than ever before” and that “they can’t cancel us if we don’t let them.”
Anyway, Carano is now on Twitter getting upset with people pointing out that her most recent, Daily Wire-produced movie has only made $13,000 at the box office.
Journalist Richard Newby quote tweeted a post mentioning an outdated box office figure for Carano’s latest movie, a western called Terror On The Prairie executive produced by Shapiro and starring Carano alongside a guy who’s credited under the first name “Cowboy.” Newby, responding to the alleged $804 Terror On The Prairie brought in (it actually seems to be a... much more impressive $13,115), wrote that Carano “didn’t just fumble the bag, she dumped it out, put it over her head, and cut off her air supply.”
Carano, whose other recent roles include playing a secret service agent in the Breitbart News-distributed Hunter Biden movie, responded to point out that it’s actually normal for a movie released on a streaming service to make no money. (It isn’t; they usually attract enough interest for even limited theatrical runs.) She continued, tweeting that she “didn’t fumble the bag I just didn’t go along with the sell out narrative, the online mob couldn’t handle that so they petitioned to have me fired & won.” Carano concludes her thread by saying journalists who make fun of her work with right-wing media outlets represent “the genuine bag fumble” since they’ve “sold out America and stopped asking questions to be liked by a fickle manipulated mob.”
As for other fickle, manipulated mobs, it seems that Carano’s new audience isn’t even all that keen on the movie, given that user reviews screencapped by @steinkobbe show commenters like “letsgobrandon” decrying the “woke nonsense” of films that depict capable women characters as part of their “feminist messaging.”
Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com