DENVER—Citing the establishment for a flagrant violation of local ordinances, city officials shut down The Green Owl Tavern Tuesday for operating without a brewery. “After conducting a thorough examination of the premises, officers from the vice department were unable to find even one tap offering locally-sourced, homemade suds,” said officer Paul McIntire, telling reporters that their investigation had uncovered dozens of bottles of mass-produced dreck including Sam Adams and Corona without so much as a session IPA with a quirky label named after the owner’s dog. “The Green Owl will remain shuttered until its proprietors are able to install as many fermentation tanks as needed to produce a small craft beer flight. We are also strongly recommending they include growlers so patrons can take their drink to-go, as well as regular tours of the facilities and a gift shop featuring pint glasses and t-shirts that say things like ‘Hop Til You Drop.’” McIntire cautioned that despite these steps, the establishment could still run into zoning issues for failing to operate within 600 feet of a marijuana dispensary.